Hunter, it’s me. I was afraid I’d never be able to say the right words to you… in person… so I’m trying to do it like this. When I first saw you this time… at Walt’s… I was hoping for all kinds of things. I was hoping to show you that I was your father. You showed me I was. But the biggest thing I hoped for… can’t come true. I know that now. You belong together with your mother. lt was me that tore you apart, and l owe it to you to bring you back together. But I can’t stay with you. l could never heal up what happened. That’s just the way it is. I can’t even hardly remember what happened. It’s like a gap. But it left me alone in a way that… I haven’t gotten over. And right now, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of walking away again. I’m afraid of what I might find. But I’m even more afraid of… not facing this fear.
I love you, Hunter. I love you more than my life.
(via bbook)